


Lynette And The Show

by Andian



Category: Lynette (SouthernASMR Sounds Webseries) - Fandom
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28269780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andian/pseuds/Andian
Summary: One of Lynette's adventures, told through different scenes with friends and family.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Lynette And The Show

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captainellie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainellie/gifts).



“Look,” Lynette said. “It’s not what it looks like.” Trish didn’t bother looking at her. Instead she kept staring behind Lynette.

“Elephant,” she then said very slowly as if testing out the word. “In my shop.”

“Yes, I know, I know but don't worry, she won't be here for long, one of Symphony's friends is going to come and pick her up and will bring her to the sanctuary. ”

“Elephant. In. My. Shop!”

Lynette kept from rolling her eyes. God, she thought, this was going to be like the railroad crossing all over again. She really should have tried hiding her at Bobby's place. Nobody would have noticed an elephant at the flea market.

“How did you even get it in here?!” Behind them a gray trunk curiously wandered over Trish's curling iron. Well, better that than her nail polish, Lynette thought. She might try eating one of those. Sparkling colors and small children, even if they were animal children.

“She is just a baby, she still fits through the door. I couldn't just leave her at that circus, Trish, the cages were too small for her! She won't cause any problems.”

There was a loud crash behind them and when Lynette turned around, the curling iron was lying on the ground. Along with the hairdryer, hair straightener and other assorted hair styling equipment.

“I'll clean that up,” Lynette said quickly. Instead of an answer Trish very slowly walked towards the entrance door and then closed it behind her.

“Well,” Lynette said, both to the now empty room and the baby elephant who was still curiously touching the scattered hair equipment. “That was rude.”

Then she quickly jumped towards the elephant who was attempting to stick the curling iron into her mouth.

***

“Oh, no, not that button, nope, definitely not that button,” Lynette mumbled feverishly. The switchboard lit up in a thousand different colors before once more settling on a less than comforting red. Hesitating Lynette pressed the button she had just pressed again.

Maybe that will fix it, she thought. There was a loud sound and the spaceship started shaking violently. Lynette let out a surprised yelp.

“Definitely not that button!”

There were voices outside the spaceship but Lynette couldn't see anything through the window, the fog outside being too thick.

“O … en t.. do..!” somebody yelled. Her inner panic increasing more and more with every second of flashing lights and loud noises, Lynette closed her eyes and quickly pressed a random button.

The sound stopped. When she very slowly opened her eyes, she noticed that the lights had also stopped. Then the door of the spaceship opened and Symphony stormed inside.

“Oh honey, are you okay?!” She engulfed Lynette in a big hug, her alien antenna headband shaking dangerously on her head. “I told you to be careful with those buttons, that spaceship is a fickle beast to ride!”

“I just tried to make it go up again so you could do your scene,” Lynette defended herself. And, she thought slightly sour to herself, this isn't quite what I had expected when you said you needed my help.

“I know darling, but still, we need to give you some more lessons before the show starts. The spaceship is the center of the show,” Symphony said, letting go off her. Half of the green glitter on her dress had ended up on Lynette during the hug.

“Okay, once more,” Symphony said, voice serious. “The green button when I come on stage, the red button three times when the aliens with the blue underwear and the bowties enter, two times if they are wearing red underwear instead and the yellow switch only...”

Honestly, Lynette thought as Symphony continued talking, you ask one person to help you find a new place for a baby elephant you stole from a circus and suddenly you're stuck in a paper mache spaceship every Saturday for the next three months.

***  
  
“Mama, where did you put those flyers?” Lynette yelled. Predictably there was no answer.

“Mama!” Lynette began again before stopping herself with a loud groan. She was somewhere in the garden probably, doing god knows what. Rolling her eyes Lynette opened one of the boxes in front of her.

“Promotions, baby shower invitations, wedding invitations, funeral invitations...” Lynette mumbled as she went through the box. They had to be somewhere, she thought.

Bobby had printed the flyers during his last grand re-opening of the flea market after he had been forced to rename it. They had been cheap, really cheap, cheap enough for Symphony to ask Lynette where Bobby had printed them. We need some advertisement for the show, she had said and Lynette had agreed. She finally had learned how to control that darn spaceship, there better be people watching her doing so.

“Aha!” Lynette said triumphantly as she pulled out one of the flyers, right behind a coupon for a peacock cage. “Gertrude,” she read with a frown in the corner of it. And a phone number. Nothing else.

Probably the reason the flyers had been so cheap, she thought before reaching for her phone and dialing the number.

The phone rang. And rang. And kept ringing. Lynette was ready to give up when at last somebody picked up.

“Hello?” a voice said. “Arlene, is that you? I told you to get off the line, I need to call Linda and...”

“Oh no,” Lynette interrupted her. “I'm not Arlene, my name is Lynette. I'm calling about the flyers.”

There was silence on the other side of the phone though it was hard to tell with all the static. Bad connection today, Lynette thought to herself.

“The flyers? Oh, that was a one-time deal, I'm not .. I mean Avon is not doing that anymore.”

“Oh,” Lynette said. “That's … a pity.”

“I do have some new offers though,” the voice on the other side piped up. “I just got in some really pretty bracelets and shiny rings and...”

“Oh no, thank you, I'm good,” Lynette quickly cut her off.

“Well, maybe you need some face cream instead,” the voice continued.

“Actually I think my mother is calling right now, I should check up on her, really need to get going!”

There was a sound on the other side of the line, like something heavy was being set down and for a moment the static grew even louder. Then the call abruptly ended.

Well, Lynette thought as she stared at the phone. I think Symphony needs to look for cheap flyers somewhere else. No way she was calling that number again.

***  
  
“Aunt Verlene,” Lynette hissed through clenched teeth. “We are not going back!”

“But they were selling organic coneflowers!”

“They are flowers! How can they be not organic?!”

Aunt Verlene opened her mouth, no doubt about to start another hour-long lecture about pesticides. Lynette abruptly pulled up on the side of the road.

“Okay, we have two options,” she said, feeling her patience running thinner and thinner, the way it always did around Aunt Verlene. “I can stop and you can walk back to the shop, all five miles of it, and we will be too late to pick up the flyers. Or … we don't do that and I promise you I'll try to get Symphony to use organic glitter in her show.” Whatever the heck that meant, she thought to herself darkly.

There was a considering look on Aunt Verlene's face. Not considering enough for Lynette's patience though.

“And I'll tell you where I brought the baby elephant to so you can go and visit her.” That seemed to have sealed the deal. Aunt Verlene nodded stiffly, pinched expression not easing up.

“Well, keep driving then,” she said and Lynette didn't resist rolling her eyes as she started driving again. Next time Aunt Verlene told her she could help, she thought to herself, just don't bother with it, Lynette.

***  
  
“Jimmy, just stop and ask those people if this is the right way,” Lynette said. Jimmy let out a loud sigh and Lynette knew exactly that he was about to tell her again that he knew where he was going.

“We are going to be late!” she interrupted him before he could say anything. “I can't be late, I am the star of the show!”

“You are the spaceship.”

“I also control some of the stars,” Lynette pointed out. She actually did like that part, it made her feel special. She had glued glittery star patterns on her nails to be adequately prepared. “Just ask them.”

Another loud sigh but Jimmy stopped the car.

“Hello,” Lynette said, a wide smile on her face. All those years of sometimes working in retail did come in handy at times, she thought. She was good with people.

“Terribly sorry to bother you but we are kind of lost? See we're on the way to this show and my friend gave us bad directions and we kind of had to change theaters last minute because of a very small spaceship-induced fire so I haven't been to the new place yet. Anyway, would you know if we can go right here or if we need to turn back?”

The people, a woman with brown hair and a man with slicked back black hair, stared at her for a long moment. Which admittedly Lynette was used to. Then they briefly exchanged looks before the woman nodded. “It's fine, you can pass,” she said.

“Thank you, this really helped,” Lynette said. The woman nodded briefly, fixing her pretty colorful scarf before she and the man quickly turned away from them.

“Nice people,” Lynette said, as they started driving again. And then she added, “Hit it, Jimmy, I can't be late! No, I don't care if you end up in jail again, I just can't be late for this!”  
  
***  
Rhonda looked up when the door to the stable opened, hoping for some fresh food. There was none she could see though so she lowered her head to her leftover hay again.

“Oh Rhonda, the show was fantastic,” the Voice said. Colorful hands reached for her, softly petting her head and Rhonda leaned into the touch.

“So many people complimented the special effects afterwards. Even Aunt Verlene only asked about the fine particle pollution of the fireworks once. I wish you could have been there.”

Rhonda liked the Voice. She brought food and petting and talked to her.

“Actually,” the Voice then said considering. “We do have another show next week. And I do have that trailer...”

And sometimes the Voice brought her to new interesting places with new interesting things to look at and chew on.

The Voice smiled at her and Rhonda lovingly licked over her hand. And as the Voice continued petting her, Rhonda was told about another new interesting place she'd soon experience. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your work of putting together the primer, it was fantastic! I hope this gift will bring you some joy!


End file.
